Ron Young (Luke Perry)

On August 23rd 1992 a covert operation led by General Roberts (Martin Sheen) launched a device from a specially equipped, top secret, aircraft to control the weather. Control of the machine was lost and within hours a deadly hurricane had formed and this became America’s greatest natural disaster – Hurricane Andrew. In the wake of this catastrophe, all evidence of the weather control programme was covered up.

Seven years later, General Roberts recruits into his covert operation, meteorologist, Ron Young (Luke Perry). Ron has developed a software program and storm device that shows the potential to direct and control weather systems. The storm device is launched into the eye of a weather front 300 miles off the Californian coast. Within moments of the device entering the eye of the storm, General Roberts gives the order to direct the storm to Mexico.

The storm had accelerated to the force of a super hurricane with winds exceeding 400 miles an hour. But still the hurricane heads directly for the city of Los Angeles.

Ron Young has three hours to fly directly into the eye of this super hurricane and regain control of the storm device.

Ron Young.

Ron Young.

RON YOUNG.

Will he win? Who knows?

He has three hours, does Ron Young.

To fly the device into the centre of the thing, or whatever.

Ron Young.

It is my understanding that people got paid money for participating in the production of this “motion picture event”. So I think that says it all really. I’m going to learn to juggle and become an eccentric, foul-smelling hermit who entertains people on Bournemouth pier now, because these people are rich and I am poor, so clearly there is no hope.

Cheerio.

Ron Young (Luke Perry)

On August 23rd 1992 a covert operation led by General Roberts (Martin Sheen) launched a device from a specially equipped, top secret, aircraft to control the weather. Control of the machine was lost and within hours a deadly hurricane had formed and this became America’s greatest natural disaster – Hurricane Andrew. In the wake of this catastrophe, all evidence of the weather control programme was covered up.

Seven years later, General Roberts recruits into his covert operation, meteorologist, Ron Young (Luke Perry). Ron has developed a software program and storm device that shows the potential to direct and control weather systems. The storm device is launched into the eye of a weather front 300 miles off the Californian coast. Within moments of the device entering the eye of the storm, General Roberts gives the order to direct the storm to Mexico.

The storm had accelerated to the force of a super hurricane with winds exceeding 400 miles an hour. But still the hurricane heads directly for the city of Los Angeles.

Ron Young has three hours to fly directly into the eye of this super hurricane and regain control of the storm device.

Ron Young.

Ron Young.

RON YOUNG.

Will he win? Who knows?

He has three hours, does Ron Young.

To fly the device into the centre of the thing, or whatever.

Ron Young.

It is my understanding that people got paid money for participating in the production of this “motion picture event”. So I think that says it all really. I’m going to learn to juggle and become an eccentric, foul-smelling hermit who entertains people on Bournemouth pier now, because these people are rich and I am poor, so clearly there is no hope.

Cheerio.

Sam for Turner Prize 2011

Okay. So my blog has so far not “gone viral” in the way that I had lazily hoped when I started it one cold November day last year. Fine. Perhaps I should have done more to promote my “work”.

But if Susan Philipszzszshzs can win the Turner Prize for recording herself singing a load of 16th century dirges and then inflicting them on innocent people going about their business in supermarkets or while crossing roads, surely I can win for producing work of equal quality (I defy anyone to disagree with me on THAT point) and having the decency to NOT inflict it on anyone save those who stumble across my blog while trawling the internet for Belinda Carlisle fan websites?

According to the judges, Philippszszxzzhsz’s work “provokes both intellectual and instinctive responses and reflects a series of decisions about the relationship between sound and sight”, providing “powerful sculptural experiences”.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/art/turner-prize/8185152/Susan-Philipsz-wins-Turner-Prize-for-sound-installation.html

Good-o.

My turn next year, please. Friends, I’ll let you know when nominations open, and I trust I can rely on your support.

Better than my "Belinda Carlisle" artwork, apparently.

Vesuvio Stromberg McKnickerslee

Vesuvio Stromberg McKnickerslee stalked across the sun-scorched arid land, a menacing gleam in his eye, a fearsome axe in his right hand an a basket of angry vipers in his left. Never tiring, never pausing for water, never stopping to consult his coffee-stained map, by day and night he traversed the deadly plains of his ruined homeland with a relentlessly monotonous stride and but one objective in mind: to bring to justice the cowardly man who tricked him into leaving his guard post and ate his doughnuts whilst he was gone.

Sasparillo G. Dorgan

My name is Sasparillo G. Dorgan and for twenty-six years I have entertained the populace of my small hometown in western Texas with my quirky radio show, a lively combination of tap dance, confused reminiscences about times past and long-winded descriptions of vintage ball gowns displayed in a Nevada museum. I live in a hollowed-out cactus of comical proportions in the arid scrubland on the outskirts of town, and count tumbleweeds and scorpions among my friends and companions.